This topic came up in one of my recent yoga classes and it felt like a great topic to further explore because I need reminding of this periodically as well.
It seems that you and I are wired to seek permission.
When we were kids, we needed permission from parents, teachers and other elders and when we grow up, we seek permission from our bosses and other authorities. Even though our minds seem conditioned to ask for permission–to unlock our full potential, we must learn to give ourselves permission to become our authentic selves.
Permission to succeed: Some people fear success because it might mean making lots of money or being greedy. Such mental programming should change since realistically success is subjective and we have the power to define our own success.
No matter what success means to each of us, let’s forget about society’s definition. How about including more behavior-based goals? For example, if one wants to lose weight, define success by making the right food choice instead of the number on the scale–the outcome should follow.
Permission to fail: Failure is a form of learning and actually transforms every other areas of our lives. We can embrace success more because of the effort expended to make it happen.
By letting go of the fear of failure, we’ll not be afraid to explore the possibilities of our life. In fact, we need to allow ourselves to be imperfect. In fact, let’s put our product or craft out there and embrace feedback.
All the newsflash, magazines, social media feeds show us the faces of successful people. It seems like they are the perfect people living a perfect life with zero flaws. But in reality, we all sit on the “John” the same way–right? (now that’s reality)
In the world where success is preached, don’t be afraid to look like a fool. Failure is’t a scar on our self-esteem–it’s a battle scar to be proud of.
Permission to be ourselves: At times we may try to live up to a fake version we show to the world–the people-pleasing part.
It’s stressful to live up to people’s expectation of who they think we should be. On the other hand, if we are ourselves, the right people will be attracted into our life and we won’t have to put energy into showing a fake version.
The first step on this journey is to accept ourselves–not only the good parts but the flaws as well because today, since we have access to so many people, we don’t have to fear people’s rejection. We can always find like-minded people if we express our true selves. Let’s stay true, Warriors– transparency is key!
I love this expression by Oscar Wilde: “Be who you are–everyone else is taken.”
Permission to be joyful: even though we often spend our lives thinking about the time in the future when we’ll be happy–we deserve to be happy now! It’s okay to desire more success but first, we must learn to be happy with what we have.
Happiness is a skill or a muscle. If we can’t be happy today, we won’t be happy tomorrow. To develop the happiness skill we can practice gratitude and mindfulness.
Take a break and do things that you find joyful or relaxing. Create a bucket list of the life experiences we want to have and live them. Nobody else will give us the permission to live our life the way we want.
Another excellent way to live in joy is to help others. Kindness not only makes the world a better place, it lets us see past our egos and problems.
Permission to just feel: No matter how much we try to avoid the negative emotions like anger, frustration, sadness, jealousy, etc., we will experience them at times. As the expression goes–”You have to feel it to heal it, the only way out is through”.
Let’s not let negative emotions define. Let’s identify ourselves as happy and treat negative emotions as something we only feel temporarily.
The key to your best life is in your hands, Warriors. Let’s unlock the life we deserve to live because our lives matter!