While attending a driving class with our twin sons, I was excited to learn this simple concept regarding challenging weather driving. It’s held true many times in my driving years and actually, it seems like a great analogy regarding social media. When we find ourselves rolling along with our social media unsmoothly–finding it causing some life challenged (i.e. relationship issues, anger, poor self esteem)–is it time to consider regrouping?
Don’t get me wrong–social media is a wonderful tool: we’re able to connect, share, learn and of course, evolve, faster than ever before. Yet, the problem is that we have also started using it to silence some of our most common anxieties: self-identity, affirmation, connection to others, etc. Of course, our obsession with it grows because it doesn’t fulfill us in the way we think it will, so we just keep seeking more–hopeful of a better outcome.
Realizing that it’s easy to be in denial about the impact of social media on our lives, let’s start exploring how we are possibly creating and sustaining an unhealthy relationship to it. Here are a few signs that our digital life is unbalanced from an article on “Thought Catalog” by Brianna Wiest:
Doing an activity just to post it on social media.
Constantly wondering what friends are doing up to a point of anxiety that is only relieved by scrolling through social media feed to finding out.
Eating dinner with phone in hand–constantly replying to messages, tweets, and photos that could wait.
Refreshing your page continuously after posting something just to see how many likes we’ve accumulated.
Feeling physically uncomfortable when disconnected from the internet for an extended period of time through the day.
Comparing other people online to the point that is has changed who we are in real life–talking differently, engaging in different activities; doing things just to fill up perceived inadequacies based on what you perceive of others via social media.
If any of these ring true, here are seven tips from an article by Toria Sheffield in “Bustle” regarding balancing social media with our real lives:
Buy a real alarm clock: Think about it–how often do you turn off your phone alarm, only to find yourself compulsively checking email or Facebook before getting up and starting your day?
Make a “no bedroom allowed” rule: banish cell phones from the bedroom entirely. Rather–spend the last 30 minutes before bed reading a book or writing in a journal.
Dedicate time for face-to-face contact: ideally, social media compliments the relationships we have in life as opposed to replacing them–it’s important to carve time out for real conversations and interactions because of it. Make a standing date with your closet bud every two weeks, or make a point to see a good friend every Sunday. It will make such a difference.
Call–don’t text–a friend: research shows people seem to feel best when their relationships happen face-to-face or over the phone as opposed to just through social media.
Section off specific time for Social Media: no more, and no less– see how it feels. (I find discontinuing my phone’s notifications very helpful.)
Use blocking software & disable notifications: there are actually apps you can use, like Self Control or Cold Turkey, that will actively block your computer from specific websites, meaning you won’t have to rely solely on your own willpower to stay off social media. This is an especially awesome tip for the workplace or for when you really need to be efficient with your time.
Take a day off: implementing little technology vacations periodically increases the level of focus dramatically–it’s helpful during work, but it’s also helpful for paying more attention to family or even going for a walk–becoming more present.
Ideally technology should enhance our lives–not take anything away, and yet it can be very challenging to strike a healthy balance between our online and offline lives. The good news it, it’s not all that hard a problem to fix–we just need to be a little proactive and have a desire to change.
Let’s work on balancing our social media ride.
Progress, not perfection and let’s be gentle with ourselves along the way, Warriors!