With all the serious discussion these days related to politics and religion, self identity I thought it would be a nice change to throw some humor into the mix.
Question: How many differences are there between various religions and/or spiritual philosophies. Even though this is a humorous, but seemingly true, depiction of how each believes “shit happens”…these different philosophies and perspectives show our diversity and how that freedom makes our country’s melting pot SO unique and special.
If nothing else, humor is good for the soul (a mini vacation if you will)…so here you go:
according to various religions and spiritual philosophies
TAOISM: Shit happens.
CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, “Shit happens”.
ZEN: (What is the sound of shit happening?)
JESUITISM: If shit happens and when nobody is watching, is it really shit?
ISLAM: Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.
COMMUNISM. Equal shit happens to all people.
CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you are bad.
PSYCHOANALYSIS: Shit happens because of your toilet training.
SCIENTOLOGY: Shit happens if you’re on our shit list.
UNITARIANISM: Maybe shit happens. Let’s have coffee and donuts.
RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM: Let this shit happen to someone else.
JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to US?
REFORM JUDAISM: Got any Kaopectate?
MYSTICISM: What weird shit!
AGNOSTICISM: What is this shit?
ATHEISM: I don’t believe this shit!
NIHILISM: Who needs this shit?
AZTEC: Cut out this shit!
QUAKER: Let’s not fight over this shit.
12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the shit.
VOODOO: Hey, that shit looks just like you!
NEWAGE: Visualize shit not happening.
EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn’t happen; shit is.
SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: Shit is in your mind.
BUDDHISM: Shit happens, but pay no mind.
SHINTOISM: Shit is everywhere.
HINDUISM: This shit will cause more shit
WICCA: Mix this shit together and make it happen!
HASIDISM: Shit never happens the same way twice.
THEOSOPHY: You don’t know half of the shit that happens.
SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No shit on Saturdays.
JEHOVAH’s WITNESSES: No shit happens until Armageddon.
MOONIES: Only happy shit really happens.
STOICISM: This shit is good for me.
EST: If my shit bothers you, that’s your fault.
REAGANISM: Don’t move; the shit will trickle down.
FASCISM: Shit makes the trains run on time.
CARGO CULT: A barge will come and take all the shit away.
DISCORDIANISM: Some funny shit happened to me today.
RASTAFARIANISM: Let’s smoke this shit.
CHARISMATIC: This is not shit and it doesn’t smell bad.
MASONIC: Shit happens, but we can’t discuss it during Lodge.
RED CROSS: Shit happens – send money.
Nevertheless…as we face and address our differences, the end goal of doing some depolarization work, is that we become and act as the sort of citizen with the inner strength, malice toward none, the charity for all, the confidence in compassion, the love of countrymen and country, even when all the world’s demanding we walk the other way. Let’s continue to look for our individual better angels, Warriors! Progress, not perfection.
Covid Humor: If you’ve ever played in a ball pit at Chuck E Cheese, don’t worry about what’s in the vaccine.