Self love and self-preservation is as important as it’s ever been. At first blush, detachment with love may seem like an oxymoron…however, it may be one of the better self-love acts… including self preservation available. It’s a principle taught in many 12-step programs…however, since this may be a relatively new concept for many, lets’ begin with a definition. Detachment with love means caring enough about others to allow them to learn from their mistakes. It also means being responsible for our own welfare and making decisions without ulterior motives—like the desire to control others, however, ultimately we are powerless to control others anyway.
The Hula Hoop Analogy: I do love this…imagine making a hula hoop spin…the only one we truly have control over is in the hula hoop (other than parenthood up to a certain point).
The bottom line…The Law of Detachment isn’t about not being involved in the world around us or giving up on our goals. Instead, it involves surrendering some control and developing a deeper trust in the universe. Often easier said than done like many things. That’s why it’s called a practice because that’s what it takes. (smile)
Detachment can best be described as a process of letting go. It allows us to release difficult situations and, sometimes, difficult people. By detaching from past experiences and future expectations, we can look at our relationships, both personal and professional, more objectively, which gives us greater clarity.
So when we talk about detachment with love…can this have multiple advantages for not only personal relationships but our relationship with politics as well? Perhaps love should be a part of politics. Might it not have a better role to play than hate and fear? Let’s explore more from a site titled “MindBodyGreen”:
Ways detachment can be helpful to us:
- Less worry. Worry can be seen as a wasteful emotion, similar to fear.
- The ability to accept more. …
- Increased productivity. …
- Achieve more peace of mind. …
- Experience more love.
How to avoid absorbing other people’s emotions
- Create appropriate boundaries with others…
- Establish our baseline. …
- Determine what’s truly in our hula hoop of control …
- Practice grounding activities (i.e. meditation)…
- Spend time in nature. …
- Make time for self-care. …
- Process it with someone.
According to Chopra (a world-renowned pioneer in integrative medicine and personal transformation), there are 5 steps toward detachment even towards politics as i need at times:
- Observe our mind: Become aware of what kind of thoughts we often think. What things do we identify with most? Become a student of self to heighten our awareness of where attachment seems to happen more frequently.
2. Distinguish between ego and actuality: Our ego might tell us that not getting the job we want has ruined our career. The actuality we are disappointed because we didn’t get something we wanted.
- Embrace uncertainty: Only a willingness to embrace the unknown provides security. As Deepak Chopra says, “Those who seek security in the exterior world chase it for a lifetime.
- Meditate on it: Meditation is a vehicle to help our mind release patterns of thought and action that no longer serve us. By spending some time in meditation each day…we can watch how the patterns in our life begin to change.
- Let’s be gentle with ourselves: The first step in making change is recognizing what it is you want to change. Instead of getting frustrated or disappointed when we fall back into an old habit, celebrate that we are now noticing when we repeat the pattern of thought or habit.
Happiness: When we begin living a life that starts with happiness from an internal place rather than attaching our ability to be happy to external conditions, then we have understood detachment. Remember, it’s a practice. Happiness is the journey and not the destination, or as Wayne Dyer said, “There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.”
Progress not perfection Warriors as we practice our newly-found detachment with love.
Covid Humor: Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.