–and the absence of it is the disease that will kill democracy. These words were given by our current President during his 153rd National Memorial Day Observance in 2021. Based on the fact that Putin has now invaded Ukraine, there couldn’t be a larger or more sad example of this truth. Since we are an interconnected humanity (no matter how many miles across the world), this disruption and invasion of this relatively young democratic country matters! Based on the many pictures of this reality for millions of Ukrainians displaced and fleeing to safer ground, my heart and soul hurt for them.
In reality, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others is fairly simple to define: concern, tenderness, kindness, brotherly love, neighborliness, decency, are many synonyms for empathy. It actually shouldn’t take special insight to see when someone has it, and it should be even easier to see when someone doesn’t. Actions speak loudly one way or the other.
Autocratic dictators easily show their true colors since they seem to care about no one but themselves and their goals for money and power–all based on their narcissistic view of their “gift” to the world. There is no empathy for anything or anyone that does not share their position–they enjoy ruling with fear. But how about the rest of us–what do we support? It certainly seems quite divided in our country for sure–but why? And even amidst all the evolving tragedy, how truly pitiful to have our wanna-be autocratic ex President touting Putin’s praises for invading Ukraine–empathy? NOT! How many are surprisingly following him down this dark rabbit hole creating further division?
I totally get that for some people, empathy can be challenging–in fact, it can be uncomfortable and inconvenient. However, on the other hand apathy is not–ignorance and indifference are not. Even those antonyms to empathy wouldn’t be enough, no matter how firmly they are entrenched in our collective national and worldly soul. It takes more evil, more calculated intent to stand as close to the fires of totalitarianism, fascism, hate, violence, and insurrectionist war as we now seemingly visualize on a daily basis. Sadly, hate is easy. Violence is too easy and so is anger. Let’s learn to take a different path–our holistic wellness depends on it–love–not hate!
I came across a wonderful example of empathy in one of our past Presidents. President LBJ once taught Hispanic children in a little school in rural Texas. One day while he was eating lunch, watching the children play in the schoolyard, he saw a little girl, about seven, go to the trash can and began digging into it. At first, he thought she’d thrown something away by mistake, but she pulled out a grapefruit rind covered with coffee grounds and began to eat what was left. He never forgot it. In spite of a few faults, he carried an empathetic memory of that hungry little girl for the rest of his life. As a result, he accomplished many good things for common people in our country. Empathy at work!
I also don’t have to tell you that every day the new conservative right seeks to destroy everything he did and everything that everyone like him has done since (i.e. Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, Obamacare, Civil Rights, Voting Rights). Even though we know that none of these programs are perfect, sadly enough, the opposition to much of this comes from: anger, hate, prejudice, racism, supremacy. Even if a program helps common people, the new right seeks to destroy it. Is this who we are? Is it who we want to be? Is it what we want?
As Jon Meacham wrote in the last paragraph of his newest book The Soul of America: “For all of our darker impulses, for all of our shortcomings, and for all of the dreams denied and deferred, the experiment begun so long ago, carried out so imperfectly, is worth the fight. There is, in fact, no struggle more important, and none nobler, than the one we wage in the service of those better angels who, however besieged, are always ready for battle.”
What Can We Do Right Now? As we see symbols with the blue and yellow colors of the Ukrainian flag and/or their country’s flower, the sunflower, here and abroad–we can take a moment to send our fellow freedom-loving Ukranians some wonderful light and love energy– empathy in motion! And when we have the chance to vote–let’s vote for empathy!
Covid Humor: I’m not sure who needs to hear this right now, but if you are self isolating, under no circumstances should you be cutting your own hair.