I know we can all relate to the word rollercoaster these crazy days with SO many ups and downs and challenges. After returning from our first Covid19 driving trip which had its own rollercoaster aspects (which I may write about one day), we learned about my Mother having some additional health challenges. However, versus doing anything invasive, at the age of 92, we chose to work with her Hospice nurse to keep her comfortable.
Mom’s dementia has been quite the journey, in fact, it began some time before Dad’s passing, but she always had an amazingly wonderful spirit about it all. She’d say when she forgot something “I wish I would have kept better book”. Shortly thereafter, I relocated back home to my roots–living with Mom while I found a house to purchase–we had a blast together. She had such a fun-loving spirit with the exception of dirt and keeping her house picture perfect. Dad used to lovingly call my Aunt in California “queeny of the West” and Mom “queeny of the Midwest”.
SO many blessings to count along the way including lunches out with the “church ladies”–Mom had a knack of keeping us all laughing. And then there were our outings with my sister in law and her mother–”the Moms”–what a hoot.
After finding a small house to refurbish, my sister, Linda, lived in with Mom for the next four years in an attempt to keep her home, however, after a fall, our family felt Mom would be safer in a care facility. Even though that was quite the change for us all, she actually loved her new digs once she got settled due to the care and attention she enjoyed, plus watching all the activity happening–her humor continued. When she’d see someone bent over, she’d say “I sure wish I had a pop gun” and then smile with that twinkle in her eye. When we’d see that twinkle often, we crossed our fingers about what might come out since her filter was slipping.
Another blessing was living only a couple blocks from Mom so that I could walk over every couple days to help with her evening meal and on Saturday evenings watch Lawrence Welk together It helped keep us in the here and now (which I needed help with)–singing along and commenting on the beautiful outfits.
In truth, as a family, we feel like we lost Mom several times. The dementia took its toll along the way, but as long as she had that glimmer in her eye when she would see us we knew Mama was still there with us–but eventually that glimmer faded and that’s when we lost her the first time. There would be good and not-so-good days, however, fast forward to when she had a couple spells, thankfully, she was still able to get up into the wheelchair and visit with us through the window when the Covid19 hit. And then, after another spell, she became too weak to hold onto the lift so she was bedridden and that was like another loss for us.
Then came the day that her Hospice nurse tried to call me, however, since I was in some self-care appointments I received her message once home so I had to leave a message as well. While waiting for her return call, surprisingly a cute little bird flew into our house and sat on our front window sill. We’re unsure how it flew in, but it was SO unusual! James tried to catch it with his fishing net but to no avail. And what else was interesting, is that our therapy puppy, Mocha, barely got upset–how unusual since she was always chasing birds outside. Afraid we might hurt it, we opened our front and back doors, and it safely flew out.
I felt the urge to text my sister in law and asked if Mom had ever said anything to her about liking little birds. Cathie reminded me that Mom basically liked anything little. I shared my bird story with her and she said she got chills as she stated “You know that Avis (Mom’s name) means bird” which I did not know. And when I shared my bird story with my daughter in law, Theresa, she said, “Sherry, that was your mom letting you know that she was fine, showing me she could fly away from all this craziness”. What a comfort that was–especially when I learned of Mom’s passing about the time of my bird experience.
In addition, about an hour later, James called from the back yard that there had to be hundreds of birds in our backyard (which Mocha enjoyed chasing this time)–another unusual occurrence.
Some years ago I learned of a beautiful book titled “Feathers Brush My Heart” by Sinclair Browning. It’s about true stories of mothers touching their daughters’ lives after death– confirming that a mother’s nurturing guiding light is always around and can be shown to us with the various gifts she leaves behind. Thank you Mom! And I’m sure my Dad and sister, Diane are happy that Mom has crossed over to be with them even though Mom is probably giving Dad a hard time about his Heavenly dirt–oh wait–no dirt to be had there–she’s in her happy place–yippy!
Typically, especially these days, we are so into our own heads and lives that we may be missing several messages around us. So as we stop to smell the roses, let’s remind ourselves to pay attention to signs and messages that we are not alone in these challenging times.
More Corona Humor: Day 210 of social distancing: Struck up a conversation with a spider today. Seems nice. He’s a web designer.