Who doesn’t want happier, joyful living? OK, I can hear you saying–”with all this recent discussion about fear and worry, how can there possibly be happier living?”
“Happiness” is a loaded word–loaded with expectations, hope, passion, confusion. You get the idea. What makes happiness feel so elusive usually has more to do with how we relate to the concept than with how we really feel.
The media associate it with wealth, beauty or fame. And politicians claim that nothing matters more than growing the economy. But do any of these things really bring lasting happiness?
For thousands of years, people have looked to philosophy, religion and grandmotherly wisdom for answers to such questions. However, in recent decades this ancient wisdom has been tested by scientific research.
Scientists have found that although our genes and circumstances matter, a huge part of the variations in happiness between us come from our choices and activities. So although we may not be able to change our circumstances, we still have the power to change our happiness level–by the way we approach our lives.
Here are a few simple adjustments from a “Mindful” article that can help us uncover the happiness within ourselves:
1. Be present–awareness is the springboard from which we can appreciate the world around us. Set reminders in our phone throughout the day to pause and check in with ourselves. By stepping into a space of curiosity we will discover an increased ability to notice happiness in everyday life.
2. Harness difficulty–sometimes we probably even create challenges for ourselves—we all do. Instead of getting down on ourselves, let’s try thinking of difficult moments as opportunities to ask ourselves: How can I be kinder to myself right now?
3. Getting connected–connection is more than an experience—it’s also a skill that we can strengthen with small gestures. Try smiling at a stranger, tell a friend we appreciate them, or tell a loved one how much they mean to us. Create connection in the small moments of life.
4. Turn meaning into action–what in life really matters–is it family, compassion, good friends, the environment? Take these values and turn them into verbs. If we value family, let’s make a plan to put phones aside during dinner. If it’s the environment, consider volunteering with an organization.
5. Find purpose–getting involved in something outside ourselves has the power to infuse our daily lives with meaning amid the daily routine.
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony”. — Mahatma Gandhi
6. Be generous–there’s no experience more uplifting than giving. Practice being generous: tip the server a bit more than usual, give more to charity this month, or offer more of our time to friends, family, and strangers.
7. Forgive and let go–when we hold onto our mistakes or the mistakes of others, it only serves to stress us out, which has negative impacts on our minds, bodies, and relationships. Ask yourself, “Am I ready to let go of this burden?” If so, try breathing in and acknowledging the pain you feel, breathing out and releasing the burden.
8. Positivity is a choice–let;s train our mind to see the good in everything. The happiness of our lives depends on the quality of our thoughts.
9. Overhaul our habits–We’ve all got habits we’d like to kick and if we could, we’d feel a lot happier. The key here is to focus on the reward we seek from any given habit. (i.e. reaching for a snack of junk food to soothe stress. In that case, ask yourself: What else can you do in times of stress that is soothing? How about a hug?
10. Making our body happy–if we look at a map of the nervous system, we’ll see it goes from the brain throughout the entire body—there is no separation. A healthier body means a healthier brain.
Let’s listen to our body and notice how it needs to be treated, moved, and fed. Bringing more mindfulness to our body is a recipe for overall well-being.
11. Keep track of our joys–at the end of each day we are usually aware of the long list of bad things that happened. What if, instead, we focused on the joys? Make a list or write a journal entry about the things that bring us joy each day. It could be a smile a kind stranger gave us, the sweet smell of a flower we passed on the street, or the presence of a trusted friend or pet. The more we take note of what brings you joy, the more joy we’ll find in our everyday life.
Forgive, Investigate, and Invite
To uncover happiness we need to accept what’s difficult and learn to savor the good. But the truth is we often dwell in excessively negative thinking and self-judgment. When we lose sight of our intentions, remember to forgive ourselves. Investigate what pulled us off track without judgment, and then let’s invite ourselves to begin again.
Progress, not perfection Warriors!