Loneliness is an epidemic and also part of our common humanity–says Ravi Chandra, M.D., a San Francisco-based psychiatrist and writer–and guess what, sport fans–social media has been implicated as part of the problem–heavy sigh.
Dr. Chandra shares this analogy regarding social media which I found very thought provoking: “If you have the seed of loneliness, the seed of dissatisfaction, there are many clouds ready to drench your seed with rain, and make it grow. Dating apps, email, text messages, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, WeChat–we carry our despairing seed to these in our open palms, looking for satisfaction, entertainment, belonging, connection–let’s call it love–to make our seed go away. We may find distraction for a while, but invariably, the rains water our seed, and the brutal sunshine of awareness that we are alone at our screens not getting what we truly need makes our seed sprout and grow in healthful ways. Instead, it grows into a great tree of anguish and agony, its leaves ready to catch the breeze of all our daily reminders of how we are not perfectly loved and cared for, in this world of infinite communication, and infinite radio-silences, numbing us to our very roots.” Wow–another heavy sigh–how brutally true!
A recent study by the University of Pennsylvania found that social media use should be limited to 10 minutes per day to reduce loneliness and depression.
The report’s lead author, psychologist Melissa G. Hunt, said: “It’s ironic, but perhaps not surprising, that reducing social media, which promised to help us connect with others, actually helps people feel less lonely and depressed.”
Another way to take an intentional break from social media is to take, Dr. Chandra’s three-week easy-to-follow Facebuddha Mindfulness Challenge. Even though we’ve grown attached to social media–it’s important to recognize how it’s affecting us, cognitively, emotionally, relationally and even physically.
He recommends spending some time making a list of all the things to do during our social media break(s):
Schedule plans with friends we haven’t seen in a long time (especially if we’ve been spending more time following and commenting on their posts).
Spend time in nature–cultivating a connection with the planet.
Exercise and really enjoy and notice your body.
Take an urban hike and feel common humanity with people in our environment.
Appreciate a leisurely meal by ourselves or with friends and put the phone aside.
Have a conversation about something that’s been on your mind or in the news; try to see the issue from multiple perspectives.
Make playdough from scratch with our kids.
Read a book, a magazine or newspaper, and spend time thinking about and appreciating what we’ve read.
Write in a journal.
Keep a gratitude journal for what we’re noticing in our life.
Clean out closets and living space.
There is an endless list of enjoyable activities that could lead to personal growth and fulfillment! The key is to make active, healthier choices.
Self-love Awareness: instead of relying on social media–the following three affirmations entitled “You are Perfect Now” from my “Insight Timer” app may be helpful committing this reality into our consciousness/DNA:
Imagine a beautiful, vibrant rose bud (however you perceive it it’s alright) Although this rose is not fully blossomed, it’s perfect at whatever stage it is–this rosebud is perfect, just as it is now. Say the following affirmations:
Like a rosebud, I am perfect at whatever stage of unfolding I am in now.
Like each petal is a perfect part of the rose, each part of me is a perfect part of my whole self.
Every rose is unique, and like a rose I am a unique expression of life’s unlimited creativity.
As you repeat these affirmations several times, let the words wash over you while the seeds of the affirmations are being planted in your awareness.
Now easily imagine that rosebud opening up a little bit more to its next stage of blooming. Notice how natural this process is–the rose unfolds naturally and gradually and in the same way, you are unfolding naturally and gradually. And whatever stage you are in of your unfolding process–you truly are a unique expression of life’s unlimited creativity.
Bloom where you are planted, Warriors!