I’m sure you have heard, “You can’t love another until you love yourself.” And there is certainly truth to this statement.
The appropriate amount of self love is healthy and important, however, how do we find the best balance between healthy and unhealthy options?
The age of social media, has created a blurred line between having healthy confidence and narcissistic qualities. There’s a big difference between the two, which we may misunderstand.
Getting likes, gaining new followers, and reaching for constant external validation to feed our malnourished egos seems to have become the new normal.
In the process, are we losing our empathy toward others and our ability to understand others’ emotions–while placing a high value on our own self-importance?
At this point, it may be helpful to better define narcissism? According to the Mayo Clinic: “Narcissistic personality disorder–is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.”
So when it comes to self love, it might seem counterintuitive to state that every one of us (even narcissists) can use an ongoing measure of healthy self love.
Here’s the deal–narcissists’ self-love is shallow and superficial since It’s completely dependent upon the praise and admiration from others. That being said–we can all benefit with an ongoing deeper dose of healthy self love.
I’ve discovered the following meditation that truly feels beneficial to us all titled “I am Worthy, I am Enough” by Natalie Bends on Insight Timer–thereby increasing our love and compassion for others:
“I am worthy of everything I desire. I am worthy, I am enough. My self worth does not come from what others think of me. My self worth is not defined by others. How other people perceive me is irrelevant. How others perceive me does not matter. How other people perceive me is none of my business. I am worthy, I am enough.
I live my life true to myself. I live as my authentic self. I accept that not everyone will like me and that’s OK. Not everyone gets me and that’s OK. There are so many that will love me. There are so many that do love me. I am worthy, I am enough.
What’s important is that I am always myself. I don’t try to be anyone else. I am the only person that can be me and I do it so well. I am worthy, I am enough.
I am kind to others. I am kind to myself. I do not talk down to others. I treat others with care and respect. I do not allow others to talk down to me. If others attempt to talk down to me I recognize that it is their issues that compel them to do so, therefore, I respond in a manner that is dignified.
I do not talk badly about myself–either to myself or others. I respect myself. I am brave. I am courageous. I stand up for what I believe in. I am worthy, I am enough.
I treat myself with care and respect. I may make mistakes and that’s OK. Mistakes allow me to learn and grow. Every day I continue to learn and grow. I value myself completely. Every day I strive to be the best that I can be. I am worthy, I am enough.
Before I go to bed at night, I go to sleep completely satisfied that I have spoken and acted kindly towards others without having compromised my beliefs, my values and what I stand for. I go to bed, safe in the knowledge that I have been true to myself and that I have valued myself. I am worthy, I am enough.
Every day I am getting better and better. Every day I shine more and more. I radiate joy and I shine from the inside out. I am worthy, I am more than enough.”
This takes effort–so let’s practice ongoing healthy self-love work, Warriors! Progress–not perfection!