As a child my first exposure to curiosity was the saying “Curiosity Killed the Cat”…warning us of doom if we were curious. However, the original form of this proverb was “Care killed the cat”. In this instance, “care” was defined as “worry” or “sorrow for others.”. Interesting!
Related to this topic, recently I listened to another Braver Angel podcast related to a more positive spin on curiosity that piqued my interest in terms of another way we can come together these challenging days. I think no matter who you speak with will agree that our country is super divided. Question: who bears responsibility to ease this division as much as possible, and could curiosity provide such a bridge?
Monica Guzman is Braver Angels’ Senior Fellow and the author of the best-selling book “I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times.” Over the past several months, Monica’s been traveling the country to lead curious conversations inspired by the themes in her book. In the podcast she joins Braver Angels to discuss what she’s learned about the state of our nation’s divisions, and how we can get more curious, together, as a nation in crisis.
As Monica traveled our country, she was surprised to learn that both on the partisan divide felt indeed there is this fundamental brokenness and that we all bear responsibility in repairing it.
Monica went on to say that actually we are so divided, that we are often blinded….to a point where we are unable to see even the debates around us for what they actually are. The reason curiosity is so powerful is because we can actually aim it at the things we don’t understand and close gaps between what we know and what we want to know.
Defining curiosity may be helpful: the genuine desire or want to know more about something. Below are other important characteristics to help define it even better.
On a site titled CLJ regarding “What are some examples of curiosity”, I found eight habits of people who’ve retained their sense of curiosity:
- They listen without judgment.
- They ask lots of questions.
- They seek surprise.
- They’re fully present.
- They’re willing to be wrong.
- They make time for curiosity.
- They aren’t afraid to say, “I don’t know.”
As well as how we show our curiosity, here are five curiosity examples we can follow to demonstrate our curiosity.
- Ask more questions.
- Admit that we don’t know something.
- See where our interests take us.
- Start to learn from other people.
- Diversify our interests.
This is key in my estimation in terms of defining curiosity further…when we are judgmental, we cannot be curious…and when we are curious…we cannot be judgmental. When it comes down to our communication with others in the heat of the conversation…it can open things up and make us even more curious…versus believing assumptions and misperceptions and then we can focus on the other person and help make them feel heard and the conversation can be much more productive. A lot of this can come from noticing our judgements and putting a question mark at the end instead. It comes down to being fearlessly curious.
Fearlessly curious…where does the fear come from? We know that fear helps us survive…it’s wonderfully useful at times. However, we should only waste our fears on something dangerous (that fight or flight deal)…easier said than done…right? Realistically we see dangers all around…we have fears of the “other” side. So how can we get past that towards freedom and creativity? Everyone of us needs to define this for ourselves. It comes down to opening ourselves and being vulnerable. It’s up to each of us to decide.
All of this should give us hope and a way to bridge our differences. We have relatives who are conservative…and I’m hopeful this curiosity concept could work wonders regarding our understanding of each other versus judgment.
As we determine how best to proceed in a particular situation and/or discussion…I feel the Serenity Prayer could prove helpful:
God grant me SERENITY to accept things I cannot change;
COURAGE to change the things I can
and WISDOM to know the difference.
Let’s be humble, open and fearlessly curious, Warriors! Progress…not perfection!
Covid Humor: Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.